Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Wedding Planning. Sometimes it gets a bad rep. The term “Bridezilla” comes to mind haha. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Wedding planning is essentially just a series of decisions that have to be made… when you look at the bare bones of it. So since this is a topic that comes up often with my clients, I thought I’d break down my best tips for making decisions for you guys to take that element out of the stress of wedding planning!

Tip #1: Make a Priority List

Before you do ANYTHING… sit down with your partner and come up with your top 3 priorities for your wedding day. Now, these can be literally anything. Anything that is important to you guys. There are some obvious ones that literally apply to everyone. “We want to have fun.” “We want everyone to have a good time.” Sure, sure. OBVIOUSLY. So those are a given and shouldn’t be on the list. The idea is – we’re creating your mission statement for your wedding with these priorities. So they should be clear, concise, and specific to you guys. A great example could be your Photography. You have a specific look and feel of photography style and it’s important to you that your photographer have ample time to get EVERYTHING. Great. That’s on the list. Now fast forward to when your photographer asks if you want to do a first look or not. “oh man.. we don’t know. there are so many pros for each options… what do we do… ??” Stop stressing. Let’s go to your priority list. Photography was #1 on that list. Doing a first look allows for more time to take portraits, details, family photos. “Yes. we’re doing a first look.” 

Done and done! Look at you?! You just crossed an item off your list and it took 5 min! Crisis averted. Now you have time to go have brunch with bottomless mimosas with your girlfriends. Your welcome.

Once you have your 3 priorities. Use that to help you navigate the tough decisions throughout planning. I promise it will help simplify things, and will make you feel confident about the choices you are making.

Tip #2: It is YOUR day. Not theirs. 

We often think of our friends and family when making decisions on our wedding days. “If I ask Ashley to be one of my bridesmaids I HAVE to ask Shelly. Because she would totally be offended if I didn’t.” But you don’t want 10 bridesmaids. Or you just really don’t want Shelly. It’s cool. We get it. What do you do? You stress and go back and forth.. you ask everyone’s opinion and are even more stressed than when you started.

You’re not really a drinker. Never have been. But your friends love to drink. So… you can’t really afford a top shelf open bar – but you worry what your friends will think, and then they will leave early, and everyone will have a lame time.

You don’t want a big cake. You hate cake. You never eat cake. You don’t want to spend money on a cake. “But what will your mother in law think? She is so traditional and thinks we need one.”

JUST. STOP. This is not Shelly’s wedding. This is not your friends’ wedding. This sure as hell is not your mother in law’s wedding. This is your wedding and if you don’t want it – don’t freaking do it. Bless your sweet soul that you’re taking everyone into consideration… and yes, there is a time and a place for that. But on some items (especially the ones that are keeping you up at night and creating those lovely shade of deep blue bags under our eyes – yes, those)  you need to just be selfish and say “This is my day and this is what I want.” I am giving you permission to say this.. and girl, you should give yourself the same permission. Shelly can do whatever she wants on her wedding day, and I promise you won’t mind. So why can’t you? Your friends will be thrilled with whatever you serve them because they love you. And your mother in law… well, that’s a whole other blog post. But let your partner deal with that.

Tip #3: Communication is Key

I honestly hate when people say “communication is key” for (enter any statement about relationships and/or marriage) it’s like – yes, we know… but WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN?! I’m no therapist… but I should really interview one on communication and do a whole post just on that… but that’s not what we’re here for today. Today, I literally just mean – talk a lot. So much of the stress surrounding decision making… is due to the fact that you and your partner or you and your mom or you and that vendor.. just didn’t discuss it enough. Or at all. You may be stressing out over if “you should split your first dance with your dad in half so you dance with your step dad the other half.. and how that works logistically and if your DJ can make 2 different songs blend so each dad feels special” yada yada yada.. when if you would have just asked step dad… he’d rather not dance anyways! Wow – look at all that time wasted and that grey hair that sprouted – stressing out over something that was actually never a thing. Talk talk talk talk about everything. Ask your partner what they think about doing a first look… Oh, they don’t care.. cool, problem solved.

*Now, just because you ask someone’s opinion.. doesn’t mean you have to adhere to their every wish (see tip #2)

Tip #4: Give Yourself Time

At the end of the day… most of the stressful decision making issues arise because you have to do it quickly. It’s crunch time and you don’t know what to do… but you don’t have time to ponder it because you’re behind and you just have to choose now. I get it. It happens and sometimes it’s out of your control. BUT, if you plan ahead and spread out your tasks… you can alleviate a lot of this issue. Don’t put things off. Don’t procrastinate. Just make your checklist and take it day by day. It’s the basic stuff we learned in first grade. Follow directions, do your homework. There’s a lesson on being kind, washing your hands, and sharing in there as well ;-)

Now… some things are just out of your control and you’ll find yourself in a situation where you need to tell your printer your answer by the end of the day or you will miss your deadline. In that case – just go with your gut (or talk more with your planning/vendor/partner – see tip #3) and pull the trigger and (here’s the key) don’t look back. Don’t second guess and don’t change your mind. That is where stress seeps in. Just pull the trigger and move forward. I promise, you will get better sleep doing this. At the end of the day, you’re still marrying the love of your life. You are still alive. Life is good. If one element is leaving you a tiny bit unsure – or not quite perfect. Let it go. This is how life is. Congratulations – you’re an adult who can go with the flow. You’re already 50% ahead of the curve.

There you have it! Decision making – simplified! Wedding planning should be fun.. it doesn’t have to turn you into a Bridezilla ;-) If you have more questions about wedding planning or if you feel like you need a wedding planner – you can contact us HERE

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