Dos and Don’ts for Addressing your Invites

How to address your wedding invitations is a question I get asked by literally every couple. Turns our people don’t really send snail mail anymore, so the art of addressing has since been forgotten by most. You may be thinking, “what’s the big deal? Just write their name and address.” And while you’re not entirely wrong, there are a few key details when addressing that can save you a bit of a headache down the line. Like did you know, that the way you address your invites implies how many people are actually invited? This is key when you start getting those RSVP’s that all of a sudden have a plus 1… that you were not expecting. Or better yet, those single guests you invited who just showed up with a plus 1 (and it was not indicated on the RSVP) .Those are my fav haha.

First things first, decide with your partner whether you want to address them formally or informally. This decision is made easier when you consider where you are getting married. If you’re getting married at a swanky hotel or winery in Napa… opt for the formal. If you’re getting married in a friends backyard in front of the barn, informal is the way to go for you. It’s the first clue to your guests what sort of wedding they are going to.

Secondly… BE CONSISTENT. If you address one formally, address the next formally. Or if you use Mr. as your prefix… use Mrs for the prefix as well. Don’t write Mr Barney and Robin Stinson. That just feels weird, right? Also, I love How I Met Your Mother. So, in general, these names just make me smile.

If you want to allow your bestie to bring a plus one, but not sure how to let her know… write her name and guest. So it is clear as day that she can bring a guest. Vice versa, if you don’t want a friend to be a guest (because who wants some rando at their wedding?)- Don’t include guest. And on the RSVP card where there is a line in front of Accepts or Declines… write in the number 1. Again, very clear what the expectations are and will save you in the end of a very awkward convo.

If your guests have kids, and you want them to be included. Be upfront on the address. I can’t stress enough the importance of being clear and upfront. Don’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings. If you are honest in the first step, it will be clear and your friends and family will understand. It’s so much harder to have to tell someone after the fact. Trust me on this.

Now, I recognize this can all be a bit confusing without visuals. I’m a visual gal, and I think that this will all make a whole lot of sense to see it all written out for you with examples. So that’s what we did for you! This awesome chart (note the HIMYM references) will be so helpful when working on your invites and I hope it saves you SO MUCH stress in your planning!

Because we love you all so so much, we created this into a PDF for you as well to download and print. Put it in your wedding binder, or send it to a friend who may be just starting to plan their wedding (look at what a good friend you are!) Be sure to download the printable HERE. Thanks for reading and we hope this helps!


  1. Monique Newman says

    I would add that just as one would formally address an invitation to Mr. and Mrs., I always list his name first then her name on an informal invitation without the prefixes. Consistent.

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