Why I Renewed My Vows

Have you ever thought about renewing your vows? Or wondered if it’s too hard or worth it? I did on my one year anniversary (weird, I know) and it was the best decision I ever made. And here’s why:

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As a wedding designer/coordinator, I’m constantly dreaming up new scenes and concepts for clients to proclaim their love to one another. It was my job. It was my job now, and it was for years before I got married. I think I struggled in planning my own wedding for a couple reasons. After some serious heartache in my past, I didn’t really ever see myself getting married. and planning events for brides was easier than for myself – turns out. I was so fickle with ideas I almost just didn’t care in the end. I just wanted it to be over. Sounds so negative, I know. I also let others’ opinions of the day take over my own. I felt like it was just more work. But in the end, I had a beautiful wedding and at the end of the day, I got married to a man I truly love – and that’s the point, right? Right.

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After seeing some marriages that were very close to me start to fall apart, I started getting into my old way of thinking. Why did I get married? Why does ANYONE get married. It’s too hard. It’s not worth the pain… all the lies that swirl around when tragedy hits. Thankfully, I was reminded that I am not my parents, I am not other people. I am me, and I believe in me. And most importantly, I believed in my husband. In both of us together. We had been through far too much to let other people’s troubles weave their way into our lives. So I thought, let’s do it again. Let’s drown out the noise and do it our way. Just us. Our 6 closest friends. In the middle of nowhere. Let’s do it for us this time.

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I created the most romantic and whimsical scene I could dream up in my favorite little spot in the woods near our home. Pulled a dream team of vendors together who are friends with hearts of gold. I incorporated elements of our wedding into it as well. The song I walked down the aisle to is one of my favorite love songs of all time (I Want You to Be My Love by Over The Rhine), and I wrote out the lyrics on wood boards at our “altar” because this time, I was waiting for him, and he walked down the aisle to me. Oh, did I mention, he was completely surprised?! He came home and I had an outfit laid out for him with instructions and our dear friend then picked him up in the coolest vintage car with more instructions. Knowing how well my husband knows me, he probably knew what was happening the whole time!

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I wore clothes I was comfortable in and loved. I actually hired a hairstylist to do fun braids – something I skipped the first time and regretted it deeply. I spent the morning getting hair and makeup done sipping champagne and chatting with my girls. Something I didn’t do on my wedding day. I was out hanging crap in trees and setting tables.

I picked a large tree to do our vows, similar to the tree we said our first vows, but this time, we wrote our own. Another regret of mine was that we didn’t write our own vows at our wedding. We just did the say + repeat thing. Which is totally fine. And it seemed like the right choice at the time. In the end, I wished we had done more. So this time around we poured our heart into our vows, and having one year under our belt, I felt like they were so meaningful and perfect. Those that know me, know it takes a lot for me to cry. I’m not the overly sensitive type. I didn’t cry at my wedding at all. At our renewal, I barely got through it. I was crying. My husband was crying… ALL of our friends were crying. It was just a tear fest, and I loved it. Because it was raw, honest, and real.

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The details were my absolute favorite. Pinks and peach blooms everywhere. Teal dip dyed fabric streaming from chairs and trees, vintage flatware wrapped in ribbon. Vintage place settings, lavender soda with cute straws, and the prettiest (and tastiest) ombre crepe cake EVER. There were nods to our sweetheart table from our wedding, but with a fresh new take. The best part – there was no schedule – we could take photos where and whenever we wanted. We drank soda and ate cake. We laughed with our friends. It was everything I had hoped it to be, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

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What I’m most grateful for… 4 years later, is that I have this memory to look back on – these photos to reminisce. To see how happy we are, how young we look, how we are ready to take on the world in our eyes. Because, let’s face it – marriage is freaking hard. Remember that college roommate you had that was just impossible? Yeah, marriage can be like that times ten. It’s not all heart eye emojis and twirling in a field in your favorite outfit. It takes actual work. And everyday you have to make a choice to choose that person. That’s something I’m really starting to learn more and more this past year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s incredible, and it is romantic… but not in the same way as you were in high school. It’s better. I’m 100% not perfect, and sure as hell don’t have all the answers… but I am so glad that 4 years ago, on our 1 year anniversary, I made the choice to renew those special words and create a memory that I will treasure forever as a reminder of our dedication and love for one another. And THAT is what it’s all about, right?

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Our renewal was featured on GreenWeddingShoes, so check out their post and links for all the talented vendors involved in making this day so special.

Comments

  1. Giiiiirrrrrrrrrl. You made me all teary eyed. I’ve been contemplating doing this soon. I think it’s so special and I LOVE your open honesty!! <3

  2. Absolutely beautiful! ❤️

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